Favourite Quotes Thread

[Paul Lange]

Just read a funny quote and thought maybe we could have a favourite quotes post that could be on going.

"He´s just a man that started out with nothing..................and still has most of it left."

 

[Paul Lange]

This thread isn't the rip roaring blast I thought it would be!

 

[Hamish Gill]

Ha, I forgot about this ... I had a few too ...

I like this one from Matthew 5:7

"You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

A few more versions here - http://bible.cc/matthew/7-5.htm

 

[Hamish Gill]

The whole of withnail and I needs a quote ... This bit in particular

Withnail: I've some extremely distressing news.
Marwood: I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear anything! Oh God, it's a nightmare, I tell you, it's a nightmare.
Withnail: We just ran out of wine. What are we gonna do about it?
Marwood: I don't know, I don't know. Oh God, I don't feel good. Look, my thumbs have gone weird! I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose. Oh God. My heart's beating like a ****ed clock! I feel dreadful, I feel really dreadful!
Withnail: So do I, so does everybody. Look at my tongue; it's wearing a yellow sock. Sit down for Christ's sake, what's the matter with you? Eat some sugar.

 

[Pete Askew]

When challenged about his reputation for being late with manuscripts Douglas Adams replied,

"No, no, I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make when they go past!".

Vic Reeves is attributed with, "87.5% of statistics are made up on the spot!".

 

[Paul Lange]

Five thirds of adults don't understand fractions!

The funny thing is that 5/3 is actually a fraction, a top heavy one in fact that equates to 1-2/3. However I don't see how this figure could be a result from a survey so I suppose the joke still stands.

Ah, that was a 3/2 nerdgasim (nerdgasim and a half for those of you in that orginal 5/3 of adults surveyed)