Hamish Gill
Tech Support (and Marketing)
Was told a joke today thought it was quite funny ...
What's worse than a card board box....
.... Paper boobs
What's worse than a card board box....
.... Paper boobs
Jokes and nonsense ...
- Thread starter Hamish Gill
- Start date
Hamish Gill
Tech Support (and Marketing)
Ok it's not that funny, but we might as well have a thread for jokes ... Especially since it's so quiet tonight 
Pete Askew
Admin
You mean like a sort of ghostly hush? Happens to all the best stand-ups at some point or so I've heard!
Hamish Gill
Tech Support (and Marketing)
Well I can't be universally talented ...
Hamish Gill
Tech Support (and Marketing)
that tumble weed is still rolling around then ... its awfully quiet
Chris Dodkin
West Coast Correspondent
Don't quit your day job Hamish... LOL
Chris Dodkin
West Coast Correspondent
Two thieves break into a bank in the middle of the night and open a safe. There is only some yogurt, but no money. They taste the yogurt. It's tainted.
The men open the next safe. There is some yogurt too, it tastes much better but again - no money.
The thieves take on another safe. And there's yogurt again.
"John, why don't you go outside and look if it is indeed a bank!" says one to the other, and sits down to eat the yogurt which tastes really fresh and nutritious this time.
A couple of minutes later in comes John.
"It is definitely a bank!"
"What exactly did the sign say?"
"The Sperm Bank of Ohio!""
The men open the next safe. There is some yogurt too, it tastes much better but again - no money.
The thieves take on another safe. And there's yogurt again.
"John, why don't you go outside and look if it is indeed a bank!" says one to the other, and sits down to eat the yogurt which tastes really fresh and nutritious this time.
A couple of minutes later in comes John.
"It is definitely a bank!"
"What exactly did the sign say?"
"The Sperm Bank of Ohio!""
Darren Bradley
Well-Known Member
OK, a Scotsman marches into a chemist's in full dress military regalia and stands at attention, ramrod straight, at the counter. The chemist comes out from the back and says, "How can I help you, sir?" (with an English accent)
Without a word, the Scotsman reaches into his breast pocket and removes a small foil packet, which he places on the counter and ceremoniously unfolds to reveal a used, broken condom.
"Yes, sir?", the chemist asks, inquisitively...
"Ay", the soldier begins in a deep Scottish brogue, "Hoo much tae replace th' dubbie??"
"That'd be 50p, sir"
"An' hoo much tae repair th' dubbie?"
The chemist gives a quizzical look, thinks a moment, and replies, "I imagine that'd be about 25p, sir"
"Ay, thenk ye", and the Scot does an about-face and marches out of the chemist's.
Three days later, the same soldier returns, again in full dress uniform, and marches up to the counter.
"Yes, sir?", inquires the chemist.
The soldier again removes the foil packet from his breast pocket, unfolds it, and sets the condom ceremoniously on the counter, and then announces... "Th' regiment has voted tae repair th' dubbie".
Without a word, the Scotsman reaches into his breast pocket and removes a small foil packet, which he places on the counter and ceremoniously unfolds to reveal a used, broken condom.
"Yes, sir?", the chemist asks, inquisitively...
"Ay", the soldier begins in a deep Scottish brogue, "Hoo much tae replace th' dubbie??"
"That'd be 50p, sir"
"An' hoo much tae repair th' dubbie?"
The chemist gives a quizzical look, thinks a moment, and replies, "I imagine that'd be about 25p, sir"
"Ay, thenk ye", and the Scot does an about-face and marches out of the chemist's.
Three days later, the same soldier returns, again in full dress uniform, and marches up to the counter.
"Yes, sir?", inquires the chemist.
The soldier again removes the foil packet from his breast pocket, unfolds it, and sets the condom ceremoniously on the counter, and then announces... "Th' regiment has voted tae repair th' dubbie".
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