Old Holiday Shots Revisited

Rob MacKillop

Rob MacKillop

Edinburgh Correspondent
With my Canon G10, before I got 'into' photography. Just ran them through the Antique Plate filter in Nik Silver, adjusting here and there.

Locations: Chelsea Physic Garden, the Globe Theatre and Restaurant, and the Natural History Museum


Wagon by RobMacKillop, on Flickr


Susan Globe by RobMacKillop, on Flickr

Proof of the REVERSE of Darwin's theory:


Rob Darwin by RobMacKillop, on Flickr


Rhona Globe by RobMacKillop, on Flickr


Rhona Drawing by RobMacKillop, on Flickr


Girls Botanics by RobMacKillop, on Flickr


Boat Race by RobMacKillop, on Flickr


Globe2 by RobMacKillop, on Flickr​
 
Yes, a few people have remarked how similar I look to Darwin. That's why I mentioned it is proof of the reverse of his theory...:p

And, yes, the girls were relaxed. I however was beginning my descent into anxiety attacks when out in the open. It has lasted 18 months now, and I am much better. Contemplating a trip to London again in the Easter, which is why I was looking at these shots this morning.

Soon after these shots were taken, and we were home again, it got to the point where I couldn't leave the house. But photography came to the rescue. I found that by taking shots of the garden, I could go outside, then further afield. Somehow taking a shot would help me relax into the landscape, maybe even providing the illusion of having some control over it, or at least weakening the imagined dangers. I started seeing a psychologist, and we planned photography sessions - such as getting on a train for one stop, then two, then eventually out to the famous Forth Bridge. Each time I suffered attacks, but each time I felt a little better.

These days I'm pretty much OK, just the occasional memory of what it was like will make me a little unsure. Photography has been my therapy. I have thought about writing this up, complete with images, but it unnerves me when I start to do it, so I stop. Maybe one day. What does it feel like? Imagine suddenly finding yourself on the shallow ledge of a very tall building...on a windy day.
 
The way our mind works is still so full of mystery. Fortunately I have not had such experiences although I do have 'black dog' phases. The worst thing is that those close to you are convinced they can draw you out of it and see it as a failure that they cannot. But they pass. I have a friend who suddenly developed acute claustrophobia. She was sitting on an underground train travelling out from the centre of LOndon when suddenly she was overwhelmed with thoughts of what would happen in the train broke down in a tunnel; could they all get our, would there be enough air etc. She is scientist and knew of course that there would be and all would be fine but as soon as they reached the next stop she grabbed the kids and said to her husband, "Come on quickly, we have to get out". From then on, and for many years, she could not get on the underground or take a car or train journey unless she was certain that there were no tunnels (and even then she would be anxious the whole time) and the thought of getting on a plane was impossible - even busses were scary. She is mostly better now but still does get a bit anxious. Yet, before that moment on the 'tube' she had never worried or even thought of it before. How strange.
 
Same here. Getting on a train was a big thing. Once those doors lock...But I've broke myself back in slowly, with short journeys, then longer ones. Going to London will be a BIG THING. One day I hope to get the train to the Continent. I'll never fly, but I hope to be able to get off this island if I wanted to. Just saying that is a leap forward from this time last year.

Good luck with your black dog. Just whistle for Sadie to save you!
 
A journey I make quite often on the way to Hoheneggelsen, although usually on the new ICE route (changing at Braunschweig for the local train). Sadly there are no great vistas as you enter Berlin as many of the lines that take you to Berlin Hbf dive underground as they enter the more central parts of the city. Lines carrying the regional trains are better (eg RB1 from Magdeburg) as they come in on the overhead sections and there is a good view of the city from Charlottenburg through Zoo Station and then on to Hbf, Friedrichstraße and Alexanderplatz.
 
Rob, your photographs (posted elsewhere) certainly give no indication of the issues you were facing, they always seemed to have a sense of confidence about them. Let us know when you're in London and if I am about I will try to meet you.
 
Rob - it's been wonderful to see the shots you've taken, and the steps you've taken to shoot them

A really moving story - well done sir! :)

The shots look great BTW - no idea why you felt the need to buy more cameras! :D :D :D
 
Smashing set Rob with A very interesting photographic story , of what is maybe the important part of any activity, I had seen them on flickr first, hoping you may post them here. I liked the Darwin one particularly and the swap and use of title. Also the Susan Cooke title on an image. I had a G series camera and for B+W is ok but the camera frustrated me for being so slow to operate. Wonderful to have the flip out screen but can relate to why you got the camera bug.
 
The G10 doesn't give great colours, as Julian says, but looking at these shots - once they have been edited - I think they are pretty close to the quality of the X100. If I hadn't told you the camera, maybe some of you (not the clever ones, of course) might have assumed it was my usual Fuji. And its AF is quicker [doh] Still prefer the X100, though...but you can pick up a G10 on eBay for £150, sometimes less.
 
I just liked your post about your struggles the other day Rob, but that felt a bit shallow... I've been thinking about what to say... I don't really have anything ...
other I suppose that I'm glad your getting better!
i had a bout of depression last year, I actually think it might have been ppnd ... But you I be sure, it's not the first time! I too find photography a good distraction. And in fact this place ... I suppose for different reasons ... Either way, I think as "creatives" we are perhaps probe to lapses in logic ... It's a good job we have our hobbies :)
 
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